


Like A Bad Romcom But Let's Have Fun

by nakadoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 14:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakadoo/pseuds/nakadoo
Summary: “Listen, I know this sounds really weird and sudden but can you kiss me?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i just want fake dating aus okay :^(

Oikawa’s only know Sugawara Koushi a little bit. They were rivals, sort of, when they were high school students. He remembers Suga because he had the kind of strength that most people didn’t realize was essential to any sort of team—empathy, intuition, and patience. Suga-chan was, in the easiest way to explain, the glue that kept their team together.

Fast forward to present time. Oikawa is in his second year of college, a couple of months into the semester already, when he bumps into Sugawara Koushi on his way home from the library. The former setter looks breathless, little pinpricks of sweat beading at his forehead despite the cold autumn weather. “Mr. Refreshing?” Oikawa says before he can think to call him properly.

Sugawara gives him a questioning look, opens his mouth but closes it. Whatever comment he had regarding the nickname was set aside, and instead he reaches both hands forward, grabbing Oikawa by the shoulders in a firm grasp and eyes dead serious. “Oikawa-kun, nice to see you again after so long.”

Oikawa is a little bit bewildered. He is running on 100% coffee and his brain is honestly not at its top form. “Yeah, uh, nice to see you again” he agrees because Sugawara really is nice to look at. He’s pretty, yet handsome at the same time. Androgynous is the word that comes to Oikawa’s mind but he really shouldn’t be thinking about the semantics.

“I know we aren’t really on the best terms—“ Suga starts. “I mean, it’s not like I hate you or anything but the rivalry between our teams really was something huh,” he says, his hands still grasping at Oikawa’s shoulders and keeping him from moving. He chances a glance behind him and the wary smile on his face shifts into something that looks more annoyed. He pulls at Oikawa, tugs him until they’re under the street lamp that keeps their path illuminated. “Listen, I know this sounds really weird and sudden but can you kiss me?”

“What?”

Suga discreetly looks behind him again and when he turns back to look at Oikawa he looks a little desperate. “Long story short I’ve got a really creepy admirer. He’s been trying to flirt really hard and I couldn’t stand it anymore so I said I was already seeing someone.”

Despite how tired he is, Oikawa is already putting the pieces together. He’s seen enough terrible romcoms to know where this is going. “Oh, no. Okay, I get it,” he agrees easily. He likes Sugawara, it’s hard not to like him honestly.

Even though it was his idea, Sugawara looks surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Oikawa says, peeks over the top of Sugawara’s head, and sees the stranger that’s already stalking towards the two of them. The stranger, honestly, is not that bad looking, but the fact that he’s driven Sugawara to the point of this sort of desperation can only mean he’s ugly on the inside. So Oikawa lets his hand cup Sugawara’s cheek, pulling the other setter in closer as he leans down to press a chaste kiss to the tip of Sugawara’s nose that lingers for a few seconds.

Sugawara blinks his eyes close and opens them once Oikawa pulls back. “Wow? I was kinda hoping for a sloppy make out to make it really convincing.”

Oikawa looks at the stranger again. His face is shocked first before it twists in jealous rage. He purposely makes eye contact, grins, then turns his attention back to Sugawara completely. “That wouldn’t make sense, Suga-chan,” he says in a quiet voice, drops his hand down so he can take Sugawara’s hand in his own. “You looked like you were fleeing, you looked worried. And if we were actually dating, and I saw my beloved in distress, I think it’d be inappropriate of me to make out with you.”

“I guess that’s true,” Sugawara agrees and tries to relax. “Is he there? Is he following?”

Oikawa lets himself glance at the stranger. The stranger is most definitely speeding up towards them now, so he pulls at Sugawara’s hand and starts running.

And they run, hand in hand, with Oikawa leading the way making turns and twists all around their campus. He even pulls them into a coffee shop, asks to use the back exit because “a stalker is following us.” He pulls them all the way to the bus stop and he only stops when Sugawara does, their hands still linked and they’re both out of breath.

“Hey, thanks,” Sugawara tells him, but doesn’t let go of his hand. “I swear, if I had to be polite to that guy one more time I would’ve—“ Sugawara clenches his fist. Oikawa has heard rumours of the strength behind his punches and would rather not be on the receiving end of them. “I would’ve given him a black eye.”

“You should have,” Oikawa tells him, doesn’t let go of his grip on Sugawara’s hand either.

Sugawara grins at him big and wide, his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing. “I have a reputation to uphold. Wouldn’t do me any good if people started calling me a hoodlum or something.”

“Sneaky.”

Sugawara taps a finger at his temple. “It’s called being clever.”

“Well,” Oikawa says, lifting their linked hands up between them. “I’m very tired right now and my dorm is exactly in the opposite direction from where we were.”

Sugawara deflates slightly, a frown on his face. “What? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Oikawa reassures. “This fake boyfriend business?” he asks, swinging their hands. “I’m in. Did you see the look on his face? He was so mad.”

“You’re terrible!” Sugawara laughs and Oikawa thinks that it’s a nice little laugh and he wouldn’t mind waking up to it. “I think having you as a fake boyfriend is much better than planned.”

Oikawa smiles at him too. He’s tired and he thinks that might be why he’s being so agreeable to a bad romcom plot. Reaching for the pen in his pocket, he scribbles his phone number onto Sugawara’s arm after he’s pushed the sleeve of his shirt away. “Call me tomorrow, we can work out the details.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey there, sweetheart. Come here often?” Oikawa says a little too loudly to be casual and the knowing smirk on his face is confirmation that he wants an audience to hear and see his perfect acting. He leans over the counter and flutters his eyelids, his hands cupping his cheeks in an attempt to look coy.

Sugawara rolls his eyes so hard but he can’t stop the smile on his face. Grabbing an empty cup at his side, he begins writing the name “gross boyfriend” onto the cup and for extra measures he adds a couple of hearts to it as well. “That’s the stupidest pick up line I’ve ever heard?” he offers and sets the cup to the side. He already knows Oikawa’s order by heart, and he’s already ringing his fake boyfriend up. “Why do you keep trying to flirt with me? We’ve been dating for months now.”

They have, in fact, been fake-dating for months now. Admittedly the first few weeks were complicated but after a while they found an easy rhythm as well as an easy friendship. Sugawara wonders why they didn’t become friends sooner because quite frankly Oikawa is legitimately a delight to be around, despite his shitty pick up lines.

Oikawa forks over his money with a tiny little gasp that’s extremely extra. “When we get married, I’m still going to flirt with you.”

Sugawara sees the reactions of the several people behind Oikawa. A couple of girls sigh dreamily and coo, and the elderly man behind Oikawa laughs happily and tells Oikawa he does the same thing for his wife. “Get moving buster, you’re holding up the line,” Suga says as he shakes his head.

Oikawa pouts at him but immediately brightens up. “We’re still on for later right?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up from class.”

“You’re the best, Honeybunch,” Oikawa leans forward, looks both ways very quickly, then presses a kiss to the tip of Suga’s nose. He had accidentally gotten Suga in trouble for PDA while he was on the job but now he knows how to be sneakier about it.

When Oikawa leaves, Suga waves at him goodbye. The old man and the two girls leave him a generous tip for their cute exchange. And when Suga finally has time to himself he thinks about a few things— namely his relationship with Oikawa.

Suga’s original stalker finally gave up on him, which was a god damn blessing and Suga could finally breathe without someone else breathing down his neck. They could have ended the fake relationship right at that moment, but then Oikawa had insisted on staying together. Oikawa was, after all, still pretty popular at their campus. Having Sugawara as his boyfriend to fend off the girls (and occasional guys) saved him the trouble of politely declining their requests, saved him the trouble of hiding from the girls and guys that were a little more persistent.

They’d gone out a lot too, to get to know each other more. After all, they needed the fake relationship to look real. Oikawa has saved him from many the annoying drunkards at the bars and clubs they’ve been to. So Sugawara doesn’t really see the point of ending the fake relationship. They both benefit from it and he’s gotten to actually really like Oikawa after spending so much time with him.

Oikawa liked to study, he was an actual nerd. Oikawa liked to look at the stars, liked to read books about aliens and conspiracy theories. Oikawa has a pair of boxers with cute little aliens printed on them. Oikawa liked to drink his coffee black, Oikawa sometimes forgets to eat, and Oikawa is essentially a disaster of a man who somehow keeps himself together and functional despite that. It’s a pretty amazing feat, and Sugawara can’t help but admire him for that.

“You guys are so gross,” his co-worker tells him, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Like, really gross. Do you really have to call each other pet names so loudly?”

Sugawara thinks about it. “Yes,” he answers. It’s not anyone’s business what they decide to call each other anyway. And if he can annoy people without actually having to interact with them, Sugawara thinks it’s not too bad. “He’s my Sugarplumb.”

“Augh!!”

 

 

Oikawa startles when a hand loudly slams against the top of his open book. He frowns, pulls his glasses off his nose, and glares at his offender. His offender happens to be Kageyama, so now he’s not so surprised as to why he’d been so rudely interrupted. “Yes, Tobio-chan? Can I help you?” he asks sweetly but they both know it’s anything but.

“I don’t think you’re actually dating Sugawara-senpai,” he declares with a frown. He pulls his hands back to his body and folds his arms across his chest. “What are you trying to pull?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Oikawa says quickly, defensively. He didn’t really talk about his fake relationship with any of his friends, and he was pretty sure that Sugawara didn’t either. They only talked about their fake relationship with people they wanted to stop flirting with them. Perhaps it had both slipped their minds that their friends would perceive their fake dating as actual dating.

“It’s all acting,” Kageyama states confidently. “But I don’t get it, I don’t know what you’re planning, but I don’t like it.”

“I’m not planning anything!” Oikawa splutters out. He’s acting now, acting very offended, because if he was actually dating Sugawara and someone accused him of faking it he’d probably be insulted. He folds his arms over his chest too, petulantly, and lightly kicks Kageyama on this shin to show his fake irritation. “Did it ever occur to you that I might actually legitimately like Suga-chan? There’s a lot to like about him, you know.”

“You don’t know how to love.”

Oikawa gasps because wow. “Bold of you to assume that!” he’s actually pretty irritated now. He knows he has fans, he knows he has haters, but it’s kind of annoying to hear that kind of accusation. He’s been a brat towards Kageyama, sure, but that doesn’t give the kid the right to make claims like that. “Contrary to your deluded belief, I actually have a heart!”

“I—“ But Kageyama is interrupted, by the small red head kid, who smiles like he’s got the world in his hands.

“Is he bothering you?” the boy asks and hits Kageyama in a way that reminds Oikawa of Sugawara.

“Hinata-chan, right?” Oikawa remembers, because Hinata was a sight to behold. “Yes, he is bothering me. Thank you for collecting him.”

Hinata snorts, and nods, before turning to Kageyama. “I know he makes you angry but you can’t go around saying stuff like that to his face!”

Oikawa butts in, because he lives to annoy Kageyama. “I think it’s a lot better of him to talk shit to my face, instead of behind my back.” He turns to Kageyama and smiles, scrunches his nose a little bit at him. “So thank you, Tobio-chan. For being honest. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop dating Suga-chan.”

Hinata was already in the process of dragging Kageyama away, but he stops. “You’re dating Suga-senpai? I thought you were just friends or something!”

Now a whole bunch of feelings start swirling in Oikawa’s chest. He’s not sure he can name them all, but mischief is screaming at him loud and clear. “No, we’re dating. Today’s our anniversary actually, and I’ve got a special evening planned if you know what I mean,” he winks at them and internally celebrates when Kageyama pales and Hinata’s jaw drops. “But keep that a secret, yeah? I want to surprise him!”

“I, uh. Of course!” Hinata says quickly and pulls at Kageyama with more urgency than before. “We have to go! It was nice seeing you Oikawa-san!” and despite his small stature Hinata bodily pulls Kageyama away and out the exit.

When he’s sure that they’re gone and not coming back, he makes a decision. He puts his things back into his bag and exits the library and walks briskly across the campus field to clear his head.

The thing is, he actually really does like Sugawara. It really is hard to dislike him, especially since he was the epitome of the devil in disguise. He’s gotten into plenty of trouble over the last few months of getting to know Sugawara and though he’d been scolded and reprimanded by both friends and even some of his professors for some of the shenanigans he’s gotten into while Sugawara got away free as a bird, he doesn’t think he’d have it any other way. Sugawara is just as mischievous as he is, and more bold and daring than most people assume. Oikawa doesn’t think he’s met anyone who’s ever made him feel like he belongs somewhere. Somewhere which happens to be by Sugawara’s side.

And Oikawa is no idiot. He’s pretty sure that his feelings aren’t one sided. He sees the way Sugawara smiles at him. He notices when Sugawara holds his hand even though there’s no one there that they need to fool. He notices the way that Sugawara notices him, takes into account his habits and rituals. Sugawara takes care of him when he forgets to take care of himself.

So really, over the course of their fake-dating, how could Oikawa not develop a crush? Sugawara is already pretty on the outside, and he’s pretty on the inside too.

Before making his way to his next class, he takes a detour out of the campus. He’s going to be late, but he doesn’t really care. He’s already read the books and has a good understanding of the next topic so he can afford to miss the first few minutes of the lecture. It takes him a while, but he finally gets to the flower shop that he’s passed by so many times and purchases a small yet elegant looking bouquet.

 

 

When Sugawara arrives outside Oikawa’s classroom, the last thing he expects is a face full of flowers.

“Happy anniversary, Honey!” Oikawa states loudly with a wide smile on his face. It’s different from the usual smiles he does, a lot more genuine and raw. Sugawara is caught off guard.

Over the months of their fake-dating shtick, Sugawara has learned to roll with whatever plans Oikawa had in store. It’s easy, kind of like a game between the two of them. So he smiles right back at Oikawa and takes the flowers into his hands carefully. It’s a bunch of forget-me-nots, tied up nicely in a cute teal bow. They’re beautiful and Sugawara tries to pretend that his heart doesn’t flutter. “You remembered!” he cheers happily and even goes as far as to wrap his arms around Oikawa in a bone crushing hug.

“Of course I did!” Oikawa gasps out then relaxes when Sugawara loosens his grip to something more comfortable and nice. He leans into the hug, really presses his body against Suga’s and sighs. They’ve been very open about their skinship and at first it was for the fake dating but now it was something that they both genuinely enjoyed. It was especially comforting on the stressful nights. “Why else did you think I asked you on a date tonight?”

Sugawara shrugs. Oikawa is planning something but they can’t really talk about their fake relationship when there are witnesses. “Well come on then, lover. Let’s get going.” And they chat as usual, as fake lovers. They get some take out like they always do as fake lovers. They laugh and make jokes like they always do as fake lovers.

When they get to Oikawa’s dorm room though, and the door shuts behind their backs, Sugawara crosses his arms and raises a questioning eyebrow at his fake boyfriend. The bouquet is still delicately clutched in his hand. “So what’s this about, Sugar bear?”

“Aw, you’re so smart Suga-chan,” Oikawa coos and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You know me so well.”

“I saw the look in your eyes,” Suga accuses but he’s still grinning. Oikawa’s got a plan and he looks excited about it. Suga thinks about how much trouble they might get into this time. “So out with it,” he calls, moving around the dorm as if he owned the place. He’s been there so many times, it might as well be. He grabs a chipped mug from the cupboard, fills it with water, then sets the flowers in it.

The place isn’t that big and Oikawa watches Suga shuffle around the tiny kitchenette to make tea for both of them from the comfort of his bed. “I ran into Tobio-chan earlier today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and you know how he gets on my nerves,” Oikawa elaborates.

Sugawara walks to him and gives him his tea, then sits down next to him. “Yeah, and?”

“He doesn’t believe that we’re dating.”

Sugawara blinks at him, eyes wide. He’s processing the information, and Oikawa looks on at him patiently. “So is the jig up? Should we come out clean then?” He doesn’t really want to though; the whole fake dating thing has been terribly fun, like a running inside joke between him and Oikawa, and he was hoping that it could last a little longer.

“I guess we should,” Oikawa begins slowly, coyly, leaning back against the wall. He flutters his eyelashes at the other setter dramatically.

Sugawara rolls his eyes for the nth time that day. “Should we?” he asks as an answer, shuffling around to lean back against the wall too, and press his side against Oikawa’s. He doesn’t want to, but even if they did he’d still like to be able to hang out with Oikawa like this.

“Ooooooor,” Oikawa sings. “We can stop the fake dating and actually date.”

Again, Suga blinks slowly.

Oikawa waits, holding his breath. He was being confident and (hopefully) suave about the whole thing, but now he’s kind of nervous waiting for Sugawara’s response. Perhaps he should have thought of things a little bit more before dropping the bomb like that, but being with Sugawara always makes him spontaneous and impulsive. He can’t really take it back now, and saying it’s a joke just doesn’t sit right with him. He feels the dread stirring slowly at the pit of his stomach when Sugawara pulls away from him slowly—

Sugawara grins at him, all pearly whites and a twinkle in his eyes. It’s a little breath taking. “Oikawa Tooru, are you _flirting_ with me?”

He swears he can feel the anxiety flush out of his body, replaced immediately with exuberance. “I am,” his confidence is coming back to him like a thunderstorm and he can’t stop the smile on his face. “So is that a yes?”

“I know we’ve been fake-dating but I think somewhere along the way it... Stopped being fake,” Sugawara admits with a shrug. He settles back against Oikawa’s side and leans his head against his shoulder. “Yes, Oikawa. I’d love to actually date you and be your actual boyfriend.”

“Yes!”

“But!” Suga interrupts his rejoicing. “I know you, and I know you’ve got something planned. So spit it out.”

“I really want to date you, that’s the truth,” Oikawa says and, as if to prove his point, he presses several kisses to the top of Suga’s head. “So the plan is—“

“Here we go...”

“Shush,” Oikawa huffs. “People thought we were actually dating when we were fake-dating but after that encounter with Tobio-chan, I thought of something. Now that we’re actually dating, I think I’d like to trick our friends into thinking that we’re fake-dating.”

Sugawara lets out a snort, before he starts laughing. “That’s so stupidly convoluted!!!” He chuckles, slapping at Oikawa’s thigh.

Oikawa winces because ouch, Sugawara is stronger than he thinks he is. “So are you in?”

When Sugawara settles down, he grins manically and Oikawa can see the mischief in his eyes. “Hell yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they get along great because theyre both gremlins


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I KINDA FORGOT THAT THE GAP BETWEEN OIKAWA AND KAGEYAMA WAS 2 YEARS AND I SAID IN CHAPTER 1 THAT OIKAWA WAS IN HIS 2ND YEAR.
> 
> so uh, lets just say that kageyama Really Did That, went all the way to tokyo to tell oikawa that he doesnt like him dating suga. Hinata is there too because someone has to watch Kageyama
> 
> anyway, this is all for fun so dont take it too seriously =))))))

Tooru is elated and he feels like he’s walking on cloud nine. He and Koushi were actually dating, they were actually officially in a relationship, and though he doesn’t really care for labels he kind of likes being able to brag to other people that he is taken, that Koushi is taken, and no one can get in between them. They are two peas in a pod, best friends and lovers at the same time. Koushi is just as mischievous as he is, and his innocent looking face lets him get away with almost anything and it plays really well to what they have planned.

Koushi coos at him. It is passed midnight and they’ve been studying together for most of the night but now they’re both too tired to look at the words in their books that are beginning to blur. “Tooooruuuu,” Koushi whines as he flails a feeble arm at him to call him over. “Let’s take a break, I’m not absorbing anything anymore.”

He indulges his real actual boyfriend’s wishes and shuts his book gently after folding the corner of the page into a dog ear. He climbs up onto his bed where Koushi is sprawled out, and fits himself next to his side comfortably. “Do you wanna go out and get coffee?”

“Spicy noodles,” Koushi says instantly. He turns to his side and curls up next to Tooru, resting his head on his boyfriend’s arm. “But maybe later. We’re going to have to set some ground rules.”

Tooru curls his arm in, cradling Koushi’s head while his fingers bury themselves into silver hair. “Okay. Can I call you Kou-chan in public?”

Koushi nods and lets out a little snort. “Yeah, but make it look like it physically pains you to do it.”

He scrunches his face mildly with a quivering smile gracing his lips. He looks constipated. _“Kou-chan,”_ he says in the sweetest way he can manage— so sweet that it’s obviously fake.

Koushi snorts loudly and tries to stop himself from falling into a laughing fit. He’s prone to laughter when he’s tired. “Oh, that’s perfect.”

“Now you?”

_“T...Tooru-kun,”_ Koushi says with a big smile that looks terribly genuine.

“Ah. I think we’re going to have to work on that,” Tooru says, but he absolutely loves the way his name sounds on Koushi’s lips. “Say it again though?”

Koushi gives him a big smile that crinkles his eyes before puckering his lips at Tooru. “You’re such a sap.”

“Pleaaaase??”

“You’re impossible, Tooru-kun!”

Tooru wiggles on the bed happily. He is tired, as he always is, but he is also happy. The feeling now, with Koushi just cuddled up against his side, makes him feel warm like he’s drunk. There’s a pleasant buzzing feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it spreads throughout his body like a warm relaxing bath. “This is going to be a lot harder than pretending to be dating.”

“I don’t think we have to act too differently. We just have to be... A lot more awkward.” Koushi licks his lips and looks up at the ceiling in thought. As his mind wanders aimlessly for a few moments, he takes the time to look at all the little glow in the dark stars that Tooru had painstakingly stuck to the ceiling the moment he moved into his dorm room and he recognizes a few of the constellations but that’s only because Tooru’s pointed them out to him so many times before both in his dorm room and that one time they actually went out one night to look at the stars. “You know, now that I think about it, isn’t it weird?”

“What is?” Tooru grabs the stress ball that sits on his nightstand. He tosses it at the light switch across the room, successfully turning the lights off without having to stand up. The lights go off but the stars glow and he’s already beginning to feel sleepy.

“That my friends and your friends never really bothered to ask us about what was going on,” Koushi explains. “Or, you know, it’s kinda weird how none of them have seen us together.”

“You know how it is,” Tooru murmurs. “University, priorities,” he counts off with a yawn. “All our friends are scattered across Tokyo,” he shrugs again. “I didn’t even know you were going to the same university until very recently.”

“Yeah, the first time you kissed me,” Koushi agrees without any shame as he remembers their fated encounter.

The thing is they are both wrong.

Despite the fact that their friends are indeed going to different universities, that their schedules are so conflicting that meeting in person is almost impossible, they were well aware that there was something going on. Tooru and Koushi haven’t exactly been subtle with the fact that they’ve been hanging out on a near daily basis, all the proof of that constantly posted on both their social media accounts.

They have a picture together at the aquarium, Tooru in the background with his nose pressed against the glass as he marvels at the fishes while Koushi looks on at the camera with an exasperated yet amused look on his face. The caption reads _“the injustice here is he’s more excited to look at fishes when I’m right here.”_

Another picture shows the two of them on their backs in the grass. It’s dimly lit and you can barely make out their expressions, but Tooru is facing the camera and his eyes are gazing off to the side in what looks like an eye roll. Beside him is a curious looking Koushi, head slightly tilted towards Tooru’s direction but eyes gazing up at the sky instead. This time the caption reads _“he’s looking at the stars in the sky instead of the glimmer in my eyes, how awful.”_

There is a picture of Tooru with tears prickling at his scrunched up eyes, face a little red, a scowl on his face and his tongue sticking out. Before him on the table is what looks to be a meal of mapo tofu, and to the side a carton of milk. The caption reads _“poor baby can’t handle the heat.”_

Another one shows Koushi curled up on Tooru’s bed, blankets around him like a cocoon, with notes and books scattered around him. His face peeks out of the blankets and he’s sticking his tongue out at the camera. _“Hogging the bed and the blankets :/”_

They seem to have forgotten that, in their endeavour to make their fake dating look as authentic as possible to ward off their admirers and stalkers, their friends also had to bear witness to their ridiculously staged (but legitimately genuine) dates. What was odd was that no one dared to comment on them. No one quite understood their combination, and no one really had the guts to question it just yet. Except Kageyama who couldn’t stand it any longer, but didn’t want to leave a negative comment on Koushi’s page and wasn’t following Tooru on his. So of course he had to file his complaint in person.

“We should plan something then,” Koushi tells him. “The break’s coming up soon, so I think we can manage to do a small road trip or something.”

“Ooh, our first Christmas together,” Tooru lets out an actual giggle. “We should do something special together first though, before starting this shitfest of a prank.”

“You are _so_ sappy!” Koushi says in amused disbelief. “This is ridiculous! Where was this Tooru back in high school?”

“High school Tooru is dead. University Tooru is madly in love with University Koushi and is not afraid to show it.”

“Oh my god, you’re gross,” Koushi laughs.

Tooru turns his body and wraps his arms around Koushi, cuddling him. “But you love me anyway.”

“Sure,” Koushi relaxes in his boyfriend’s arms. “Okay, I see that we’re not really going to get anywhere with our plans right now.”

“You’re right. Pancake batter brain,” Tooru agrees.

“Alright, alright,” Koushi relents. A sleepy Tooru either has very strange ideas or no ideas at all. Tonight seems to be the latter. He takes one of Tooru’s hands, presses a kiss to his knuckles, and then pulls the blanket over them. “We can talk tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

Day one of their unnecessarily convoluted prank begins with a post on Tooru’s facebook page.

It’s a picture of himself and Koushi standing at the steps in front of their university’s public library. Koushi is one step higher than he is, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his cheek as he’s leaned back to receive it. And, like most couples who are overly gross and cheesy, there is a long paragraph that comes along with the image to describe how wonderful their relationship is. It reads:

 

_We’ve been testing out the waters for a while now and I’m happy to tell you all that he said yes to being my boyfriend! I don’t think that I’ve ever met anyone who’s made me feel the way that Koushi does! He completes me in a way that no one else can, and the happiness that he brings me will take novels to explain. His smile is the sun, and his eyes sparkle like the stars. I love you, @Sugawara Koushi! I’m going to make you the happiest man alive!_

 

“Auugh,” Koushi exclaims, scowling at his laptop screen. “Babe, that’s so cringe-y. It actually really hurt me physically.”

Across from him, on his own laptop, Tooru grins. He’s still typing, probably another long winded declaration of love for all his other online accounts. “That’s the point! I would never actually do something like this,” Tooru explains. He takes a moment to stop typing to sip at his coffee instead, before continuing. “I bet Iwa-chan’s gonna call me later to ask me what’s going on.”

“Oooh, I see!” Koushi clicks on the love react button on the post, and watches in amusement as more notifications roll in quickly. Many of the comments are congratulatory, all from people he doesn’t know. A mischievous grin grows on his face however, when he finally sees familiar names reacting to the post now as well.

Snickering, Koushi begins typing his response. It reads:

 

_I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HONEY BEAR!!! I can’t believe it’s been half a year already! Time really flies when we’re having fun, huh ;) ;) ;) Words can’t possibly describe the way you make me feel, but I think you’ve summed it up pretty well! So lucky to have you in my life! Oh, and did I mention that I love you?_

 

He hits enter and grins widely when Tooru bursts out laughing.

“Oh my god,” Tooru wheezes out, a cringe on his face even though he’s laughing. “That’s so gross, but so perfect!!!”

“I do my best,” Koushi leans back and smiles smugly, stretching a leg out to knock ankles with Tooru. “And I just thought of something so bad, it’s going to be so good.”

Tooru raises his eyebrows and moves his laptop to the side so that he can reach for Koushi’s hand. “Yeah? What is it?”

Koushi lets his hand be held. “Matching outfits.”

“Nooooo,” Tooru laughs. “That’s so terrible!!!”

“We have to be consistently terrible online and then obviously awkward together in public,” Koushi says seriously. “We already have a lot of people who actually believe we’re dating though, so it’s going to make it a lot harder for our friends to figure out the real deal.”

“You’re cute when you’re making evil plans.”

Koushi smiles brightly, presses a kiss to Tooru’s knuckles. “I know.”


	4. Chapter 4

Working the late night shift wasn’t exactly something he wanted to do, but a co-worker called in sick and a little extra cash never hurt anyone. Besides, there aren’t many active customers present late at night, usually just other university students looking for their fix of caffeine before hunkering down to finish projects and get some readings done. It’s quiet and relaxed, and Suga finds some time to get some studying done as well.

There are post it notes scattered behind the counter, on the coffee machines and on the register and on the walls. They’re his notes, all mixed up and when there are no customers to serve he pairs the concepts up with their meanings, the terms to their description, and so forth. Every 15 minutes his co-worker shuffles them around all over again. He makes studying a game, and it’s fun for the both of them.

Of course late nights with sleep deprived and caffeine fuelled students means that there is bound to be a weird occurrence at least once. He hasn’t worked too many night shifts but the last time he did a student came in his underwear, genuinely forgetting to dress himself up. Tonight is a weird night, but not for that kind of reason.

Suga stares across the counter and at the entrance at their latest customer. He raises his eyebrows for a second, before plastering his customer service smile— though the smile shifts easily into something more friendly and genuine. “Fancy seeing you here,” Suga greets cheerfully but his tone is still soft so as not to disturb the calm ambience of the cafe. He plants his elbows on the counter and leans forward, cheeks cupped in both his hands as he smiles playfully. “Are you lost or something? I can draw you a map if you need it.”

Iwaizumi returns the smile with a face twitch, as if he doesn’t know exactly how to respond. But after a moment he schools his expression and at least manages a polite hello before getting straight to the point. “Where is Oikawa?”

Suga tries his best to give a confused little smile. Tooru had warned him about Iwaizumi, how he’d probably be the first out of anyone (aside from Kageyama) to confront them about the supposed relationship. Suga had been emotionally preparing himself for a phone call or even a message online so seeing Oikawa’s best friend in person at three in the morning was definitely not something he was expecting so soon. “He’s back in his dorm room,” Suga thinks the best way to play their convoluted lie is by telling the truth. “Sleeping.”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow at this. Slowly he looks behind him to make sure there is no one lined up, so he can take some of Suga’s time without getting him into trouble. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I know, but I’m a good boyfriend and tucked him in myself,” Suga tells him, his face scrunching up in a big happy smile. The conversation, at least for now, will go pretty genuinely. The best lie is the type of lie that is dusted with truths. “He overworks himself so much and I just had to put my foot down,” which is true.

 

 

_”But I’m not sleepy, Kou-chan,” Tooru complains as his notes are taken away from him. “And it’s my midterm tomorrow, are you really going to sabotage me like this?”_

_“You’re sabotaging yourself,” Koushi huffs as he gently sets Tooru’s notes aside onto the bedside table. “Get some rest.”_

_“But I’m not sleepy,” Tooru insists. He has dark circles under his eyes, and Koushi is pretty certain he hasn’t seen Tooru sleep in three days._

_Koushi sighs and pushes him down gently on the bed. “I know, that’s why I got this for you,” he says a little solemnly, shaking a pill bottle in his hand. “They’re melatonin pills,” he informs as he shakes one out onto his palm. He smiles a little when Tooru offers his hand where he drops the little pill. “I know you get those bouts of insomnia and it worries me a little...”_

_Tooru frowns at the little pill, his cheeks puffed up in a pout. “That’s not fair, Kou-chan.”_

_“What isn’t fair?” Koushi asks as he grabs a glass of water for his boyfriend._

_Tooru accepts the glass of water too and, without more insisting from Koushi, he swallows the pill. “Saying you worry about me...” he grumbles, sets the glass aside, and settles down on his bed. “You know the secrets to my heart.”_

_Koushi laughs and rolls his eyes. He’s dressed up in his barista uniform and he really should leave soon but he sits down on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t resist when Tooru pulls him in to cuddle, grumbling complains against the crown of his head. Koushi takes one of his hands, presses a kiss to his knuckles like he always does, before reaching for Tooru’s notes. He reads them out loud, questions Tooru on the topics listed down, until his boyfriend finally stops talking and finds sleep._

_His uniform is wrinkled as he pries his boyfriend’s arms off him, and he’s running late, but he smiles and presses a parting kiss to Tooru’s forehead. And though he is asleep, Koushi tells him “I’ll wake you up when I get back in the morning so you can study more.”_

 

 

Iwaizumi looks at him, really looks at him, and wonders. He has seen Sugawara on court: how he can be loving and caring like a mother, and how he can be a little bit mean and physical like an older brother towards his teammates. It was pretty hard trying to peg down what exactly Sugawara was like; he’s seen him but hasn’t paid too much attention to make an educated guess. “How’d you do it?”

Sugawara blinks a bit, almost as if snapping himself out of a daze. “Do what?”

“Get him to sleep.”

He doesn’t really even think about his response, and honestly pretty surprised by how instantly he replies. What he does is he raises his hands, his left index finger and thumb touched at the tips to form a ring while his right index finger slots itself into it. He waggles his eyebrows and winks. He’s not really a lewd person at all, or the type of person to indulge in unprompted sexual innuendos, he doesn’t regret his actions at all.

Iwaizumi’s face goes completely blank, like a robot, but the color is draining from his face so quickly that Sugawara actually climbs over the counter to help him to the table closest to the counter. “Hey could you— thanks,” Suga calls towards his co-worker who’d been listening in on their conversation the whole time. She’s already handing him a glass of ice cold water for their customer. “Sorry, I was just kidding!” Suga tells Iwaizumi with a laugh in his tone. “I just asked him nicely.”

“He—“ Iwaizumi accepts the water graciously and takes a sip. “His insomnia?”

“Sleeping pills,” Suga answers with a shrug.

“And he actually took them?”

Again, Suga grins at him cheekily. “Do you really think he’d say no to his boyfriend?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t answer him for a few long seconds. It makes Suga anxious, but he manages to keep his calm and amused expression on his face.

“That’s... good,” Iwaizumi finally replies. He leans against his chair, his limbs lax as he lets out a big sigh. “That’s great even. Shittikawa’s a bit of a dumbass when it comes to taking care of himself. I was getting worried and seeing his post—“ he shakes his head. “I was thinking it’d be a bad idea if he got into a relationship when he’s such a disaster. I guess I worried for nothing.”

Suga is infinitely glad that Iwaizumi is Tooru’s best friend since childhood. He tells him this. “Believe me, he really is a disaster. I was wondering how he survived all this time but now I know. You’ve always been there for him, so thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Iwaizumi insists. “I swear, I thought I was growing gray hairs.”

Sugawara gives him a little huff. “Gray hair is nice.”

“I didn’t mean— you know what I meant,” Iwaizumi grumbles at him and Sugawara can kind of see Tooru in that movement. “Please take care of that idiot so I don’t die early.”

Sugawara gives Iwaizumi a friendly punch to the shoulder. It is painful. “The feeling is mutual!”

Iwaizumi leaves with a bruise on his shoulder, less worries, and a free apology cookie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IWAIZUMI AND SUGA ARE BOTH GEMINIS AND IM WHEEZING THEY'RE GONNA GET ALONG GREAT
> 
> i literally have no plan and every chapter is written in one sitting =)) inconsistencies are highly possible so im sorry for that
> 
> oh also sorry that i keep switching from sugawara - suga - koushi and oikawa - tooru. all u need to know if that it's suga thinking about oikawa he thinks using oikawa's given name and vice versa =)) if its someone not close to suga, ie. iwaizumi, the narrative calls him sugawara, etc etc


	5. Chapter 5

This is exactly why fake dating Koushi in the first place was such a good idea, Oikawa thinks to himself blandly as he watches his lab partner blubber out a heartfelt confession. He doesn’t want to come off as rude, of course, they have the rest of the semester together as partners and it’d probably pretty darned if they were on bad terms after he rightfully turns her down.

Sometimes Oikawa forgets that he is actually sort of a big deal, and he’s not even being narcissistic. He’s already well known in the volleyball scene and even if he wasn’t he’s charming and smart and handsome, to put it mildly. He knows his good points and he knows how to play them up— With Suga though he never had to. He could be completely himself, just how he is with Iwaizumi, and nothing can ever feel nicer than that.

Anyway. Why would she confess to him when he and Koushi were so blatantly being lovey-dovey whenever possible when they were still fake dating? Why would she confess to him when they were still blatantly lovery-dovey now that they’re actually dating now too? Oikawa has gushed to her on multiple occasions about how much he adores Sugawara Koushi.

He’s looking for the right words to say to let her down gently. He’d like to be on friendly terms with her still, or at least be civil. But her pretty little face turns from tears to an angry scowl. He holds his tongue.

“What’s so good about Sugawara anyway?” she spits out, demanding angrily, stomping her foot impatiently and petulantly all the while. It would have been cute if it weren’t for the fact that she was actually being terrible. “Aren’t you just playing? Isn’t this just some sort of phase? Surely you can’t really be interested in him?”

Oikawa frowns. “Kou-chan is cute—“

“I’M MUCH CUTER!!!” she yells. Oikawa thanks no one in particular for the fact that she was at least smart enough to lead them to somewhere more private to confess. “If you’re dating him just because he’s cute and pretty like a girl why not go for the real thing instead?!” she says, still angry, but with a twinge of hope to the tone of her voice like she fully believes in her own words. She gestures towards her body then steps right into Oikawa’s personal space. “We both know I’m the better option,” she slips from angry to flirty seamlessly, her fingers dancing up Oikawa’s chest in a playful manner.

Hee was planning on being nice but Fuck That. He’s plenty smart, he can handle lab by himself for all he cares. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he says. He doesn’t even try pushing her away, instead he just takes a step back from her because even just touching her makes him feel a little sick now. “Your fashion sense is tacky and you’re ugly on the inside. I can see that now, so thank you very much for showing me your true colors,” he informs her. He pulls out his phone, scrolls through the contact list in disinterest. “Kou-chan makes me happy. And he’s honest.” He very purposely shows the girl her phone number on his contact list then deletes it.

She blinks at him in shocked disbelief. Oikawa takes this as his cue to leave.

“Don’t bother with the lab reports,” he tells her as he walks away, waving a hand over his shoulder without a care in the world. I can do them without you. I’ll still write your name I suppose, after all I’m not completely heartless.”

He doesn’t get to see the expression on her face and he doesn’t really have much time to wonder about that because as soon as he turns the corner he finds Suga crouched down against the wall, elbows resting on his knees and in his hands he is clutching two cans of coffee. He offers one to Oikawa with the biggest shit eating grin. “You think I’m pretty.”

Oikawa takes the cold can and grumbles at it. It’s autumn and it’s still so cold. He doesn’t understand how Suga can be so unbothered by it. “I do,” he agrees very easily. When Suga holds his hand out, Oikawa takes it and pulls him up easily. “Why are you saying that like I’m losing or something?”

“I’m smiling like this,” Suga says and smiles wider and cheekier somehow as if to prove a point. “Because _I’m_ winning.”

Oikawa cracks the can open and sips. So cold. “I didn’t know we were playing a game? How do I win?”

“I’m winning your love,” Suga says, unabashed. He slips his hand into Oikawa’s and slots their fingers together. Their hands fit perfectly. He lets out a big laugh, happy and bright and endeared, when he notices Oikawa’s face going pink.

But Oikawa is competitive, always has been, so his silence doesn’t last long. “But I’ve always loved you. You already won a long time ago.”

This time Suga turns pink, but it’s fine because they can blame their flushed faces due to the cold. They grin at each other and Suga shoves Oikawa and Oikawa shoves him right back.

 

And they both promptly slip on the dry leaves.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Daichi Sawamura started a group chat 2:40 AM**

**Tanaka named the group We Dem Bois**

**Daichi:** i dont want to sound like a gossip but is suga really dating oikawa?

 

 **Daichi:** id ask him but... i really dont know how

 

 **Tsukishima:** you don’t actually believe in this bullshit right

 

 **Tsukishima:** its probably just a dare or something

**Hinata changed Tsukishima’s name to moonmoon**

**moonmoon left the conversation**

**Kageyama changed Daichi’s name to Dadchi**

**Hinata:** moonmoon :(

 

 **Dadchi:** ???

 

 **Kageyama:** Since Suga-senpai isn’t here to change your name for you.

 

 **Asahi:** You mean about him dating Oikawa???

 

 **Kageyama:** I agree with Tsukishima on this.

 

 **Hinata:** oh man arent u glad i made him leave

 

 **Hinata:** hed never let you live that down

 

 **Yamaguchi:** kek

**Hinata changed Yamaguchi’s name to yummyguchi**

**Hinata changed Kageyama’s name to sad setter**

**yummyguchi:** should i add him back????????

**sad setter changed Hinata’s name to Bird Brain**

**Bird Brain:** HEY

 

 **Dadchi:** later, we need to stay on point and kageyama and tsukishima arguing about nothing will get us nowhere

 

 **Dadchi:** no offence kageyama

 

 **sad setter:** None taken, senpai.

 

 **Asahi:** isnt it fine though if he’s dating oikawa-san? They seem to be really happy with each other

 

 **sad setter:** It just doesn’t feel right.

 

 **Nishinoya:** YOU CREATED A GROUP CHAT FOR THIS?

 

 **Dadchi:** whoa, calm down! theres no need to shout

 

 **yummyguchi:** is it rly shouting if were all just reading tho

 

 **Nishinoya:** IM NOT SHOUTING BUT MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN :(

 

 **Nishinoya:** BUT I AGREE. SUGA-SENPAI LOOKS REALLY HAPPY.

 

 **sad setter:** But what if Tsukishima’s right? What if it was a dare? What if someone dared Oikawa to date him?

 

 **Bird Brain:** he wouldnt really do something like that would he?

 

 **sad setter:** Not unless someone provoked him maybe.

 

 **Bird Brain:** he cant be THAT terrible!!!

 

 **Asahi:** thats right! Hes helped you guys out before right???

 

 **sad setter:** ...

 

 **yummyguchi:** ill just relay the messages to tsuki

 

 **yummyguchi:** even if he did see the kageyama agreeing w him post hed just leave bec of all the messages

 

 **yummyguchi:** he probs turned his phone off neway

 

 **Dadchi:** so what are we going to do then???

 

 **Dadchi:** on one hand maybe he is happy but on the other... it just looks kind of fishy doesnt?

 

 **Asahi:** do you want me to ask for you?

 

 **Dadchi:** is that a good idea????????????

 

 **Nishinoya:** I THINK SO?

 

 **Nishinoya:** ISNT IT BETTER TO JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT? SUGA-SENPAIS PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD ANYWAY

**Tanaka changed Nishinoya’s name to shouty-mcnubbs**

**shouty-mcnubbs:** :(

**Tanaka changed his name to shouty-mcnubbs’ friend**

**shouty-mcnubbs:** :)

**yummyguchi changed Asahi’s name to common sense**

**common sense:** oh?

 

 **yummyguchi** : bec u right senpai

 

 **yummyguchi:** i dnt think theres any harm in asking

 

 **yummyguchi:** n suga-senpai doesnt let other ppl push him around

 

 **yummyguchi:** he wasnt born yesterday hes not an idiot –Tsukishima

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** dont u think we should be more worried for oikawa wwwwwwww

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** suga-senpais probably punching him right now wwwwwww

 

 **sad setter:** ...

 

 **sad setter:** That’s a comforting thought.

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** THATS THE SPIRIT

 

 **Bird Brain:** RIP oikawa-san

 

 **Bird Brain:** f

 

 **yummyguchi:** f

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs:** F

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** f

 

 **Dadchi:** why f???

 

 **common sense:** thats certainly one way of putting it but suga’s an adult now anyway and can make his own decisions without us butting in i think

 

 **common sense:** worst case scenario we at least have to be there for him

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs:** THATS SUCH A MATURE THING TO SAY

 

 **common sense:** i think thats what suga would have said to us if he wasnt the current topic of discussion

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs:** SO YOURE GONNA TALK TO HIM?

 

 **common sense:** ill try to make time to visit him

 

 **Dadchi:** in that case im coming too. lets talk about our schedules later

 

 **common sense:** alright! But if we cant find time to see him we can always just call

 

 **yummyguchi:** why not just call right now? – Tsukishima

 

 **shouty-mucnubbs’ friend:** its 3 in the morning

 

 **yummyguchi:** oh ye

 

 **Dadchi:** if this conversation is going to happen i dont want it to be over the phone

 

 **common sense:** yeah and suga... he could just drop the call and escape you know?

 

 **shouty-mucnubbs:** THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING _YOU_ WOULD DO

 

 **common sense:** dont call me out like this

 

 **Dadchi:** wow

 

 **yummyguchi:** sry but not to sound disrespectful or anything but i think either @hinata or me should go with asahi-senpai

 

 **yummyguchi:** no offense senpais but u guys can come off as a little intimidating n idk pple who dnt kno u might think ur extorting suga-senpai

 

 **common sense:** :(

 

 **yummiguchi** : me n hinata look p innocent so itll balance things out

 

 **sad setter:** I’m going too.

 

 **Bird Brain:** no youre not!!

 

 **Bird Brain:** last time we saw oikawa-san i had to drag u away youre not coming

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW @sad setter visit me you little brat say hello to your senpai while they go deal with that

 

 **sad setter:** But you’re so far???

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** oh so what youre willing to go and see oikawa to deck him but not me to say hello wtf

 

 **yummyguchi:** thats valid –Tsukishima

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs:** TSUKISHIMA AND KAGEYAMA ON THE SAME PAGE? MAYBE THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE AIR

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** tin foil hat?

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs:** YEAH

 

 **Dadchi:** okay yamaguchi, you guys talk it out and update us if anything happens

 

 **Dadchi:** and kageyama hinatas right you sit this one out this time

 

 **sad setter:** >:(

 

 **Dadchi:** dont angry frowny face me

 

 **Bird Brain:** dont make dad angry

 

 **shouty-mcnubbs’ friend:** yeah dont disrespect your father like how you disrespect me

 

 **Dadchi:** ANYWAY

 

 **Dadchi:** thats all i wanted to talk about and now we have a plan so im heading to bed

 

 **Dadchi:** you all should too

 

 **Dadchi:** good night and remember let me know if anything happens

 

 **yummyguchi:** okay dad good night

 

 **Bird Brain:** good night dad!!!!!!!!!

 

 **Dadchi:**...

 

 **Dadchi:** ok fine, good night children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one half of this was painstakingly typed out on my phone while on the train and the other half was typed out at 12mn and i didnt have coffee the whole day and was half asleep
> 
> some html stuff didnt work, specifically the big ass gap so i had to use dots afhkjadfhjkdslafhdjkslafd
> 
> also im sorry i dont know the 2nd years asdhfjkadfhdalfd like i said ive only seen s1 so the characterization is probably not good lmao


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